many things can, at the same time, be true.
i have been reminded of this often over these last few years. i’ve been reminded throughout therapy, throughout my engagement with embodiment and mindfulness, throughout the learning to reconnect with myself and my feelings. i offer it up to you, now. whether you’ve heard it before or whether you are just hearing me say it for the first time.
many things can be true.
many things can, at the same time, be true.
many things can, at the same time, be true — even if they seem contradictory.
and,
there is space for all of it.
there is space for all of it in you.
i am working a service job in coffee, and i absolutely fucking love it, and i want to continue to grow and progress in this space. i love working with my people and getting to vibe and talk coffee bs all day, what a deeeeeelight.
at the same time, i own a photography business and want to grow that. i fucking love the art of photography and mixing that with a couple of best friends in love is such a gift. getting to tell peoples stories is *chefs kiss*
at the same time, i am an author, a writer, endeavouring to continue to publish books and take my writing seriously. i want to continue in this space forever, writing, engaging with thought, being curious about how we can continue to give language to experience and engage with lived experiences, so we can all grow.
all of those things are true.
there’s space enough for all of them to co-exist. there’s space enough for all of them to co-exist in me. sometimes i lean towards panic and think otherwise, but i always come back to my knowing this to be true — that there is room enough in me for all that i love, all that i desire, and the future i dream of. there’s room enough for it in my future. there’s room enough for it in my now. naturally, my focuses ebb and flow. the things i give my energy to the most shift in different seasons, heck, different days. but all three of these things are still true. and that’s safe. and thats okay.
i remember a time when i had to choose. when only one thing could be true. when only one opinion could matter. his ways were higher than my ways. when only one, binary, way of being was good and true and real. i remember a place that would tell me how to be, how to love, how to see. because they knew the ways higher than my ways, naturally. they would pull me in, telling me how wonderful i was, and then mould me like clay until i fit within their four-walls. still, i saw the sun shining.
still, i dreamed of more.
i remember the first time i engaged with studying theology. and the way i realised the binary didn’t make sense anymore. when the black and white faded into grey, and exploded into colour. and i knew — the walls were never meant to hold us.
the one-way-of-being was never meant to be the only way. the one-thing-is-true focus did not have to be the only way, anymore.
i think about the spaces that told me what to love and what to be, and i feel angry. and grateful. i recognise that my life has been shaped by so much of where i have been, and who i am is thanks to a lot of these spaces. i feel the grief. i feel the joy. all of it, at once. i can hate a part of my past, and hate the work i have had to do to come out of it, and still, find spaces of gratitude for parts. i can still feel joy. it doesn’t mean i hate it any less, just because i learned some things. but i know there’s room to accept the lessons, and still feel anger at the teacher. it’s okay to feel angry and sad at the same time, and it’s okay to be confused by that feeling of gratitude that comes through. that feeling of nostalgia. the realisations that parts of that space are missed. but thats for another day. it’s okay to feel those things and feel so much joy for where you are now, knowing that you wouldn’t be here without the bad shit.
there’s room enough in you to feel all the feels, bb.
even when they seem like they’re conflicting.
especially when it seems like they’re conflicting.
there’s room enough for both the anger and the sad and the joy.
there’s room enough to love all that you feel.
there’s room enough for all that you love.
i read delicious memoirs and stories penned by people of their experiences. often about their experiences leaving religion, or engaging with feminism to some degree, or stories of leaving home and chartering new waters to find themselves and their space in the world.
at the same time, i read books that educate me. i read books about blackness and antiracism work and capitalism and our culture as a whole. i read books about art and being an artist in 2023 and mindfulness and i read books about staying true to ourselves.
at the same time, i fucking love a good smutty fantasy romance.
all are true.
there’s room enough in me to love being educated, to love hearing people’s stories, and to love a sexy fantasy novel.
there’s room enough in you to love all that you love, too.
i know you might’ve been told otherwise.
you might have been told what to love.
you might have been told to choose what you love.
you might have been told to love one thing. to pursue one thing.
you might have been told that only the agreed upon and ordained things that you love are allowed.
but there’s room in you to love all that you love. i promise you.
there’s room enough to feel all that you feel. i promise you.