Resting has been the rhythm of the past few months, and damn, has it been sweet.
I’ve noticed that there is so much guilt that comes up surrounding the idea of rest. For me, at least. There’s so much guilt that arises when we choose to take space for ourselves to just be. Not do. Not pursue. Just be.
I guess thats really what these last few months have been for me… The whole year, even. A sinking into being. A rediscovering of myself. A taking of space. All good things. All done through rest.
But damn, I’ve wrestled with the guilt of it.
Maybe we can thank our fast-paced, consumeristic society for that. Or maybe we can just thank ourselves, for allowing ourselves to be so caught up in running that we forget we need to stop and breathe.
For me, rest won over guilt, but it was push and pull for a while there.
Guilt will put a muzzle over your voice, shove a bit into your mouth, and keep you trapped in walls too tall to see over. I decided I didn’t want to live that way. I hope you choose the same.
You can be creative and not share your art, for however long you need. You can be deconstructing and not overanalysing or thinking deeply about the systems you want to deconstruct from, for however long you need. You can want to connect and know yourself, to hear your body and feel your feelings, and also want to disconnect from the noise, for however long you need. You can want to succeed at your job, your creative work, your sport - whatever it is - and still take space to stop, breathe, rest — whenever you need.
It is only now, 7 months into the year, that I’m finding the space to come back to movement. And that’s okay.
If you feel like rest is calling your name - I hope you take the space for yourself that you need. I hope you know that space is deserved. I hope you give yourself time and love and indulgence and grace. I hope you know you are more than what you do.
I hope you know you are deserving of rest.
A little update:
Over the month of August, I’ll be focusing on putting words out into the universe again. I’ll be publishing my essays over on my Medium page (here!). I’m aiming that they’ll be segments and sections and paragraphs of the memoir I’ve been talking about forever and working on for the last 8 months… Stories on leaving, words on breaking walls apart that were never meant to be surrounding you, essays on coming home to yourself - the most important thing you can ever do.
With that in mind, over the month of August, I’ll be sending my little newsletter out weekly, with some updates on what I’ve been working on and some love notes for you.
Thanks for being here. Take some time to rest this week.